If you’re a lover of food (and shopping) as I am, New York City is your Disneyland.

There are a gazillion restaurants (and boutiques and shops) all over the city sure to satisfy almost everyone’s tastes. My travel buddy on this trip had never ever visited New York City, so our main focus on this trip was to play tourist – you know, double decker tour bus, maps, paparazzi camera with back up battery pack and memory card… The whole nine…. My travel buddy is not as obsessed with food as I am, so indulging our palates took second place to our tourist adventures.

So, although we didn’t get a chance to eat at some of the eateries that I had hoped to try (Mario Batali’s Otto Pizzeria and Enoteca, Morimoto, Momofuku Ssam Bar and Shake Shack), we did eat at some decent places – some more memorable than others, some that unexpectedly surprised us and some that probably will never be visited again. We also took in the sights and sounds of a different New York City than the one I encountered as a teenager. We had a great time!

I used this trip to “scout” where I want to stay on my next visit – to maximize dining options and cocktail consumption. I’ve started my list of must-go-to restaurants and bars/lounges and I’m already planning a NYC gastronomic adventure for next year with a few other foodies, where we will be able to indulge to our hearts content. I’m already excited with the idea of planning this foodie adventure….and we’ll probably even take in a parade!

That being said… on to what we ate….

After being on a plane for what seemed like 5 days, checking into our hotel, picking up our tour tickets and whatever goodies they were passing out that day, visiting Miss Liberty and touring most of Midtown, Downtown and a small sliver of Brooklyn, it wasn’t till about 9:00 p.m. that we finally got a decent meal. A real meal that didn’t consist of Starbucks, Craisins or cranberry juice from the Ocean Spray exhibition at Rockefeller Center, but included some type of protein, vegetable and starch.

By this time, we had already been up for about 24 hours, we were both tired and hungry, I was starting to get light-headed and cranky, so we dropped in atthe closest place that seemed to “call our names”…

Roxy Delicatessen right in the heart of Times Square.

This place screams TOURIST TRAP. For one thing, Roxy’s is right smack dab in the middle of Times Square. Secondly, they have a bright neon signs that beckons you from 3 blocks in either direction. Thirdly, it was the last stop for the night tour on our tour bus.

But, without paying attention to all of the warning signs, we dragged our tired and hungry butts in and got bitch-slapped the minute the menu was placed in front of us.

WTF? $23.95 for a sandwich – you’ve got to be out of your mind! That’s a bit much. It better be good! Maybe it’s their way of making sure the rent gets paid, being that they were in a prime location. So, I needed some clarification. When our server arrived, I asked her about portion size. She said that everything on the menu was huge and suggested that we might want to share. Good idea.

So we look over the menu again (and it’s a pretty extended menu) and decide on their Baked Virginia Ham Triple Decker sandwich (Virginia ham, crisp bacon, lettuce & tomato) that was listed on their Triple Sky Rockets section of the menu, and some fries. You’d think that for a $24 sandwich, you’d be able to ‘get fries with that’. But no,,, you have to order it on the side. It was an extra $5.95 for the fries. Plus, another $3.50 because we were sharing our order. Ummm yeah…, the server didn’t mention a charge for sharing when she suggested that we share our meal.

Baked Virginia Ham Triple Decker sandwich

Full Frontal View of the Sandwich

The lady at the table across from us eloquently expressed what I was thinking (except without my expertly placed curse words). In a tone that toed the line between shock and awe, she said, “What IS that?”

OBNOXIOUS is what it is! How did they expect us to eat this as a sandwich, without having to surgically unhinge our jaws and cut slits on the side of our mouths reminiscent of The Joker? The only possible way to eat this was to deconstruct it and eat as part sandwich/part salad. If I wanted a salad, I would have ordered a salad. OBNOXIOUS! F*ING OBNOXIOUS!

This “sandwich” (which you have to partially eat as a salad) is constructed as follows: one slice of toasted regular sized white sandwich bread (as opposed to the bigger slices you’d get from say artisan breads), topped with a pound of Virginia ham, topped with another slice of their tiny bread, topped with about a half a pound of bacon stuffed in a half a head of iceberg lettuce, then topped with a final slice of their tiny bread. All was held together with a barbeque skewer with a thin sliver of orange, for garnish.

See the kosher pickles in the bowl to the left of the OBNOXIOUS sandwich, those were on the house (or partly included in our sandwich price). There had to have been at least 8 pickles in that bowl. The fries were also plentiful, which we didn’t mind. You can never have enough fries. Also on the house was a vat of their cole slaw.

Did we enjoy our meal? We enjoyed it as any tired, weary and hungry traveler would. We were more grateful for having some sort of sustenance and desperately anxious to finish the meal and make it back to the hotel for a nice hot shower and crisp, cold, high thread count sheets. I love the Hilton New York!

Was it good? The sandwich was a sandwich, and a $24 sandwich at that. The bread a bit soggy, though toasted. The ham good, and not too salty as some ham can get. The lettuce crisp. The bacon plentiful and fries perfectly golden and slightly salted. The pickles were an wonderful added touch, but we didn’t need a whole bottle. The slaw, tastless.

Roxy Delicatessen, I hear, is known for their cheesecake. The word “phenomenal” was even used. News to me. I’ve heard of New York cheesecake from Junior’s or Lindy’s, but not from Roxy’s.

Maybe next time, I’ll go in just for cheesecake. Maybe…

*****

Roxy Delicatessen

1565 Broadway, New York 10036
Btwn 46th & 47th St

Phone: (212) 921-3333